East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
