ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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