He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
