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No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We got so high we made milksteak
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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