omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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