so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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