i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
