Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
