Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
