we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
