my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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