You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
