You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
