I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
