fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
