I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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