I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
