if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
