her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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