PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
