I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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