I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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