I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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