WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
