at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize