4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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