you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
