Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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