it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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