you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Who died my cat blue again?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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