how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
