i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
