I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
