Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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