I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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