they need to just BURY HIM!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
