Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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