Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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