Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
