i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
