no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
