I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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