Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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