so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize