Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
