in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
