I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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