His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
