Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
