i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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