He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize