I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
