I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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