Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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