they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
