butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
