Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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