So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
cat food counts as protein by the way
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
