when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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