I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
