he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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