so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
