Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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