If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
