Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
