i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
