Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
