Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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