called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
